so explain again why im purple
no
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
