If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
