We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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