i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
In America we eat man semen.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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