youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
