So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
