I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
