the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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