The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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