eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The struggles of a small town man whore
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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