My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm both gender and math confused
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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