im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
