let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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