I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
