He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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