My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
