please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
smell my finger.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
