Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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