It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
