i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We had to coat check the pizza.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
