HIV tests are more positive than that guy
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
