so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
