Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
