so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
