billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
