Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
