What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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