i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
