oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
