And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
