He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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