Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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