Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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