i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just threw up on my dentist
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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