A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
