just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize