For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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