Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
