32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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