he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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