if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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