fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I need a beard to bite.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
