You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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