i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
