My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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