Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I deserve this hangover.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
