how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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