Barsexuality is the new black.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
