I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
