i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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