I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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