oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
