I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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