come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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